Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
