she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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