can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
