i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
