How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
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You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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