I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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