Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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