if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize