are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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