I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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