well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
