Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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