is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
