toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
