By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
