Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
