just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize