I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
