when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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