Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
