she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
