We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
