I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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