The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
