i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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