I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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