I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
