I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
