we're blogging at a bar
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
