I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
