I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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