you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
why didn't you poke me back
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
that's an acceptable place to lick
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
