i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
