I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize