Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Randomize
