The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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