no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
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