3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
