well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
birth control should be required to get into college
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
