He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
