erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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