okay pat passed out under dana's car
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize