i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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