around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
