My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
this is an emotional support booty call
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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