It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
