a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
