dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
