Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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