Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What a dumb baby whore.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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