I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize