help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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