And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
