They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
jump out the window naked night went bad
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