It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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