I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
