i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
