At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
