where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
