Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize