is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize