You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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