flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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