shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
