Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
