How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
