He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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