i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize